Marriage is about love – not gender.

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I’m thankful to say marriage is now a legal option in New Zealand for ‘same-sex’ couples (since 2013). I hate the way we even differentiate ‘gay’ couples with the ‘gay’ or ‘same-sex’ label. Do I go around calling myself part of a ‘heterosexual mixed-race’ couple? (My husband is a very handsome man, I’m European/American and My Darling is NZ/European/Maori). No.

Marriage is about love – not gender. Or anything else.

Very tragic to think that some countries still treat gay couples with discrimination which reminds me of how draconian our world still is. Hopeful though if we think back to the time where marriages between people of different colour and religion were also not accepted by the mainstream. But I guess, who wants to be mainstream!

This post comes in the week that I actually officiated my first ‘same-sex marriage’, having the privilege of marrying two very lovely ladies whose partnership is one of the most grounded I’ve experienced and full of lots of laughter – the ceremony was so relaxed and full of humour. And that really is something special to celebrate – particularly when they had to leave their own country (Australia who still do not allow the same human rights to everyone) and travel to New Zealand to make their union ‘official’.

The other major event which happened for me this week was the complete opposite of that happy occasion. With a very heavy heart I sadly said goodbye to my cousin. Among many many beautiful qualities he possessed he always appeared to approach everything in life with a kind loving nature and a great big smile on his face. No matter what adversity this thing called life presented to him.

My gorgeous cousin was a loving husband to his husband for over two decades. Looking back through his photos there’s one of them way back in 1994 celebrating their ‘marriage’ with a fully spectacular ceremony including the grooms dressed in top hats and big purple silk cravats – very 1990s!!

Those cravats weren’t the only brave thing about that ceremony though – for me, it is the fact that in the States and in most of the world – the early 90s were still a time of discrimination against people choosing to love differently from heterosexuals.

My cousin leaving this world is a shock to us all. And it has had me doing alot of thinking, especially that wedding photo. Even though I never thought of it this way because I don’t consider gay couples any differently, however I realise that in these times being ‘different’ is still a big thing no matter what you’re looked upon differently for.

So, I am really proud and have much admiration for my cousin and his caring husband, for celebrating their love for each other in such times, with their families and friends there to support them. I just wish he was here so I could tell him personally.

And that is what it is all about – love.

Our love is with you always cuz.

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